06.10.09
Pajamas in the Dining Room
Yesterday, my Mama, the once VERY vain, never leave the house without a full face of makeup Molly Berke, was on her way to the dining room at her assisted living place….in her pajamas.
This is new. Then, I had her over at my house for the afternoon, and she could not get up off of the toilet. This is new, too. Yesterday morning, she called me at 7:30 and said “Karen…you have to buy me some Kotex! I don’t have any! I’ve been bleeding for 3 days!”
I was on my way up to the gym, to attend my first weight class in 2 months….I had an injury and have been waiting to be strong enough to go back. I almost turned the car around….then thought of another plan. I called the nurses…asked them to go check on her….and they did. There was NO blood.
I went to my class….and felt strong enough to handle anything afterwards. A very good example of our need to “put OUR oxygen masks on FIRST”, which I speak/sing about to others. Musician….heal thyself!
We’re going to the doctor today…I’m afraid that what we’ve all been attributing to “hemorrhoids”, may be much worse. She has so many pains and aches….it’s hard to know what’s real, and what is not. That’s the tricky part.
And then I ask….is it really “worse”? Maybe it would be a blessing, if her sweet 93 year old body just gave out, before her confused 93 year old demented brain does.
And guess what? I have NO power over this. None. No matter HOW strong I am. And the truth is, I don’t feel very strong at all when it comes to this. So I’ll just keep praying….and crying….and writing these blogs……in my pajamas. In my dining room.